80 or 81

By kiki 

Yesterday afternoon while walking out to the mailbox, I found myself walking on unsteady legs. I thought while I reached in and grabbed the mail (bills) 'man, it's a bitch getting old' Looking for a wall to grab onto, but finding none, I instead grabbed the mailbox for support and to steady myself before I started the trek back indoors. Once indoors, I told Connie, who was sitting in her easy chair, "sweetie, I am having a hard time walking; my legs wobble when I walk" With a smile on her sweet face, she said, "well, babe (yes, she called me babe) that's because you are 81 years old" 81! that grabbed my attention real quick, "hold it there woman!" I heatedly protested, "I am 80; I still have a month to go before I hit 81!" "80 or 81, we can all agree that you are old, so what we are arguing here is just how old you are, but instead of arguing, we should think about what to do about it, get you a cane? No, you already have a few of those; how about a walker?" I responded to her with what I thought was a better idea, "how about an electric scooter?" "hell no!" she almost felled out of her chair when I said 'electric scooter' "the way you drive you'll run the dogs and me over. Hence, an electric scooter is out of the question, so go for the walker" Connie is a hard woman to do business with, so I said to her, "Okay, I'll think about the walker. Still, sweetie, I would never run the dogs over" At that, she opened her eyes real wide and asked, "how 'bout me, would you run me over?" And without answering her, I grabbed the wall and wobbled my way to our bedroom. Damn, there goes my custom low riding electric scooter!