Playboy Lounge

 By kiki

Circa 1983, I walked into a local watering hole, the Playboy Lounge. As I walked in, I spotted my cousin Henry and his friend Rudy sitting at the bar; their little feet were dangling high above the floor as they sucked on their beers, now Henry and Rudy are two really short guys, more like glorified midgets, both are about 4'11 if they wear lifts. Henry might be about half-inch taller than Rudy; I used to kid Henry all the time about liking to hang with Rudy because Rudy was the only one shorter than him. 

I ordered some beers for the three of us, and as we were bullshitting and drinking our beers, I noticed some ladies sitting on a table in the back of the lounge. 

Soon one of the ladies, a massive one, walked up to us; she greeted Henry and Rudy, who she knew; after saying hello, she asked Henry, "and who is this?" meaning me, after Henry introduced us; she asked me "wanna dance?" now I stand 5'8 and at that time weight about 145 lbs., she stood at least 6 feet if not an inch or two more and carried at least 250 plus pounds on her big bones, I gracefully decline, at that Rudy jumped off his stool and bouncing a couple of times off the floor said, "I'll dance." 

As we watched them dance. I started laughing; Henry asked me, "Cuz, what are you laughing at?" "Look at Rudy dancing with that big broad; he looks like a flea on a dog," I said, and that got Henry laughing too. After finishing their dance, Rudy and the big girl walked back to the bar where Henry and I were sitting; Big Girl then asked Henry, "what were you guys laughing at?"  "We were just laughing at a joke," Henry replied, at that big girl said to Henry, "you know what I'm going to do to your cousin here? First, I am going to beat the shit out of him. I'm going to f*%k him to death," I told her "for sure you can beat the shit out of me, you're big enough to do so, but you're not going to f*%k me, Biggie gave me a hard look as she turned around and walked back to her girlfriends, Henry, Rudy, and I went back to our beers. - Kudos to Rudy for not backing away from life.     

Excuse the salty language, but that's the way it went down.