Johnny and Juana La Loca

By kiki

In the early '50s, a friend of mine, Johnny from Pico, got busted with a roach. He was taken to the Whittier Courthouse, where he stood before a man-hating female judge who offered him a deal if he pleaded guilty, six months in the county jail; Johnny asked for time to think it over, and the judge agreed with that. Then, she told Johnny she would release him on his own recognizes and granted him two weeks to think it over. 

Johnny's mom wanted Johnny to go see Juana La Loca. Juana La Loca, who lived next door to my grandparents, Papa Tony and Mama Maria, on Ibsen Street in Pico, was what we now call a community activist; in other words, she knew and was into everybody's business. So Johnny said okay; he would go talk to Juana La Loca. So Johnny went and told Juana the deal he was offered.

"Don't worry, Johnny, I know the judge; I'll talk to her for you and get her to give you a better deal, maybe thirty days, no more than that. Does that sound better than six months? huh, Johnny?" 'Hell yes, it's better than six months, ' Johnny thought.

When the two weeks were up, Johnny and Juana La Loca went to court; Juana told the judge that Johnny would plead guilty but that she wanted to speak for Johnny before she passed sentence, the judge, who already knew La Loca told her to go ahead and talk.

Juana La Loca got up and talked and talked and talked and said nothing, and when she was done talking, the judge told Johnny to stand up as she was ready to pass sentence; she gave Johnny nine months! "What happened, Juana? I got nine months instead of six, and what happened to the thirty days?" "Johnny, I didn't tell you that this judge hates men, look at her; she is closed to eighty years old and has never been married; you got screwed, son, sorry 'bout that." 

But the court trial junkies knew that La Loca had talked Johnny into a longer sentence by talking and talking and not saying anything...